Glowing Goddess

The first few chapters of "The Law of Attraction" talks about the basic science behind the law...simply that we send out positive or negative vibes and receive the same vibes from the universe in return.  What we focus our thoughts and energy on, is what we inevitably attract into our lives.  Easy!

Now we get into how we send out out those vibes and the first and probably, most important way, is in our words.  Words are the main way in which we express our desires to the universe, so they'd better be good ones.  Something that is brought up (which gave me an immediate 'Ah-ha moment') is the use of words like "No" or "Don't" or "Not".  I am totally kicking these words OUT of my vocabulary.  All these words do is put focus on what we DO NOT want instead of what we DO want!  So true!  If I say "Don't blink" you immediately think about blinking, right?  What if, instead, I say "Open those eyes wide"?  It's the same principle...keep in your thoughts what you want to have or acheive.

My challenge over the next few days is to keep track of the negative statements I make often and think of ways to make them positive statements instead.  I wonder if I will see a change in what the universe gives me??

I was feeling a little lost and uninspired, so I send my desires out into the universe.  I asked for clarity and inspiration.  I believe the universe has given me this, in the form of a library card. 

The same day I let my desires be known to the universe, my SO came home with a library card.  We do visit the library often, but never borrow books as we both owe fees.  I was very excited that he came home with the card as I was hoping to read the book "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May Gaskin before my upcoming birth in July.  To ensure I could get the book ASAP, I signed on to the public library's website to see if I could reserve it vie the internet, however, the first thing I noticed was an ad for the digital library.  Upon clicking, I saw the audiobook "Law of Attraction" by Michael J. Losier and it was like a sign.  There was my inspiration.  A few more clicks and I had found another book called "The Passion Plan" by Richard Chang...is this my clarity?!

Since I am planning a homebirth in July, I have been looking alot at online forums looking through the experiences of others'.  I am reading some incredibly inspiring stories and getting some great advice but I am also noticing something that has got me thinking about how much input I give my other half. 

It started with a discussion thread on The Bump in which a Mum-to-Be was inquiring about hospital policy on epidurals during a water birth.  This woman wanted to have a water birth but her HUSBAND insisted that she have an epidural...and this way okay.  Afterall, his job was a physicians assistant so he knew better.  Right??

The more I read, and the more people I talk to the more I realise that there is a huge amount of women who are giving up their birth choices to the one person who should be supporting and empowering them...their partner.  To me, that's very sad.

I never considered giving my partner any input on any of my births...but he never assumed he should give any.  I just always figured giving birth is my experience from by body and thus, the decisions of how and where I would do it was always up to me.  I'd expect that if I decided to birth in the backyard, suspended from a tree in the middle of a drum circle with a voodoo priestess, he would trust that was the best thing and support that.  I would be deeply insulted to have him question my judgement.

Now I am not saying that I don't care about how my partner feels.  If he were uncomfortable with my birth choices, I would gladly supply him with some materials to 'get comfortable' but I definitely would not allow for his insecurities and control issues to stand in the way of me and the birth I wish to have.  Birth is the single most personal and life altering experience in a woman's life, and that should not be taken away from her by her partner.

So I want to know what YOU think?  How much consideration, if any, should a man have in his partners birth choices?

Another week passes and my belly grows larger.  I have completed 17 weeks of this pregnancy and have finally felt my baby move for the first time.  The other night, I was laying on the couch poking my belly when something suddenly pushed against my thumb.  It happened again the next night.  It was such a strong push, so I am confident that my baby is strong and healthy.  For the time being, I have ceased the finger assaults.  I am beginning to wonder if there are more than one in there.  I seems to feel 2 different types of movement in 2 different places.  I feel movement lower in my uterus which seems to be much more relaxed and smooth than the jerky, quick movements I feel under my ribs.  I will find out soon enough, I guess.

Here is my most recent belly shot, taken at 16w3d...still in my regular pants too which makes me happy.  I feel like this is the healthiest pregnancy I have had so far in terms of my own health and activity level.  It feels great (aside from the pain in my pelvis) and I am looking pretty good if I must say so myself.

I baaack...but for how long?  Had to reformat the computer but since then I think the internet connection has been a little more reliable.  I did learn something about iPod that I am not thrilled about in the process.  After reformatting and reinstalling iTunes, I learned that all the music on my iPod is basically lost (thanks unidirectional syncing) and I will have to re upload allll my CD's and rename every damn song AGAIN.  It almost makes me want to get an MP3 player instead.  Almost.

I also tried out the Wii this past week.  I am not a fan of the whole nunchuck controller, but I do like the games available.  We played Ghostbusters, Lego Indiana Jones, Ju-On Haunted House Stimulator, Cars, and some Marvel superhero game that was so unimpressive that I forget the title.  I logged most of my time on the Lego game though.

So onto my big experiment of last week...I decided to take a hiatus from Facebook.  I realised at some point last week that it had been a whole month since I spoke to another adult human (besides SO, of course) and that was depressing.  It's just really strange how Facebook and other sites like it, can connect you people just as much as it can disconnect you with them.  I have friends on Facebook that live literally minutes from my doorstep, but our whole relationship still centres around the internet.  Facebook allows friends to pay lip service to eachother by 'liking' and commenting, without actually putting real effort into a friendship.  My goal was to put real effort ino those real life relationships...but it totally backfired.  Apparently, the reason that no real effort goes into those relationships, is because they really aren't great relationships to begin with.  My new goal: fuck my real life relationships.

In other news, today I hit 16 weeks!  Nearly halfway there.  My belly growth has levelled out in the second trimester so far, and I am feeling far too emotional to function normally.  I cry about everything...and about nothing.  I watched American Idol last week and sobbed the entire time.  I did laugh quite a bit as well as usual.  Auditions really are the only part of the season I enjoy.  I am looking forward to an ultrasound in a few weeks.  I was torn on whether or not I was even going to get one, but in the end decided that it would really help my spirits at this point to be excited about something on the shorter term.  I go February 9.

Until next time :)

I just wanted to blog quickly in celebration of my first full day of NO MORNING SICKNESS!!!! It felt so good to wake up and feel normal and I even had enough energy to spend some time outside with the kids skating in our homemade ice rink!! Will post video at a later time.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod

I have been having continued issues with my Internet connection. I am not sure why my signal is suddenly so low-to-non existant but instead of driving myself insane trying to figure it out, I decided to try blogging from my iPod. So far so good.

I downloaded the free BlogPress app, which was super easy to install, and am blogging only minutes later. Yay for easy breezy!!!

I am not sure this will be ideal for longer posts, or for researched posts or photo posts but at least it will make it easier for me to keep my New Years resolution.

Wish me happy iBlogging!!!!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod

Here I am...half way through my 12th week and days away from saying goodbye to the first trimester!  It's been a looong 8 weeks since finding out I was expecting and it feels great to be on a different leg of the journey...the Second Trimester!!!

This might just be my favourite part of pregnancy; finally getting energy back, starting to get a belly and feeling the baby's first movements.  It's such an amazing time!  I started showing nearly right and already at 12 weeks have an impressive little belly starting.  I am comfortably in maternity pants now and shuffling to find more clothes that fit at this point!!

Also, I did finally hear back from the midwives and went to my first appointment.  I was 10 weeks at that time and so lucky that she was able to find the heartbeat so I could hear my little bean.  It's equally amazing and exciting every time I hear my baby's first heartbeat.

The midwife said I was a great candidate for a homebirth so everything is going smoothly in that area.  I am SO excited for this birth.  I am also loving the whole midwife experience, especially compared to my experience at an OB' office. I love the feeling of involvement and control...even with something as simple as weighing myself and testing my own urine.  I also loved that she was able to take my blood for testing right in the office instead of sending me off to the lab to wait another 30 minutes to have blood taken.  With just one appointment, I have a totally different outlook on my pregnancy and birth than I did with an OB.

I was disappointed to learn that they will not do a homebirth for a breech presentation or for multiples but I have to wonder if I could sway them, should that obstacle present itself.

Look at me!  Neglecting my blog again without good reason. 

Actually, I have been having issues with my internet connection lately so I have have been avoiding the frustration by foregoing most of my daily internet routine.

My New Years resolution is to try to blog at least 4 days a week.  Let's see how I do!