Glowing Goddess

This week has been a slow week for this particular Goddess.  My little ones have been sick and in need of extra Mommy time, so my internet time has been limited.  Today I was fighting a migraine.

I have also been working on a new project at the local level which has stolen a lot of my mental power (which I am seriously lacking these days already).  I am hoping to bring together like-minded parents in the community and connect them with the resources available, as well as offer support and info to parents-to-be and anyone else seeking it.

Next week should be a more productive week for me...I hope!!

Now for the Friday Favourites Roundup!  

My favourite post this week BY FAR was from PhD in Parenting's formidable article entitled "Breaking it Down for Facebook".  This was a brilliant summary of the breastfeeding photo ban on Facebook and why the reasons for the ban are "dumbass".  Loved it.

In keeping with the Facebook/breastfeeding theme, my next favourite post of the week was "An Open Letter to Facebook" by April at Eclectic Effervescence after having an amazing tandem nursing photo removed by the Facebots.  All of the following posts on the same subject are also on the list.  Read them!

And in keeping with the theme, check out these pair of tits.

Happy Friday!!

aromatherapy: aro·ma·ther·a·py - noun - The use of volatile plant oils, including essential oils, for psychological and physical well-being.


The principle of aromatherapy has been practised for thousands of years starting with the Ancient Chinese and Egyptians whose use of scent and oils is well documented.  Though the use of aromatherapy has continued well into our time, recent interest has refueled the use of essential oils for therapeutic, cosmetic, fragrant and spiritual use.


In the early days of my pregnancy, I asked good friend and qualified Holistic Aromatherapist, Gillian Joseph for some advice on how to aromatherpay could benefit me.  (Thank you Gill).  The following advice is for women with no history of miscarriage and no health problems.




Here are a few ideas that might help relax and invigorate you during your brand-new, exciting and wonderful pregnancy. 

One of my favourite blends during pregnancy is petitgrain and ylang ylang. It's such a "summer"-feeling aroma, really uplifting and great after a long day or when you just need a lift. As another plus-point, neither oil is particularly expensive (petitgrain being known in the trade as "poor man's neroli"), which is a benefit for broke lassies like me!

For a safe and wonderful pregnancy massage, blend 1 drop each of petitgrain and ylang ylang oils with 10ml (sorry, I work in the new-fangled measurement for work stuff!) of a carrier oil such as grapeseed or sweet almond oil. You could even use olive oil, but it's fairly sticky and has an aroma that tries to compete with the aromatics. If you're using food-type oil, sunflower is a better bet, but cold-pressed specific massage oil would be the best idea.

If adding the oils to a bath, make a mixture of one drop of each oil to 5ml (one teaspoon) of the carrier oil (i.e. the grapeseed, etc.), run the bath first, close the doors, add the mixture to the bath and swirl around. Get yourself in, lie back, and try to breathe in the aroma deeply.

For tummy aches and pains, or pains anywhere else as well as deep relaxation, try the same dilution of lavender and Roman chamomile. There are a few types of chamomile oil, but look for the Latin botanical name Anthemis Nobilis and you've got the right stuff.

For morning sickness (or as I had it, morning/afternoon/night/time-I-hadn't-previously-recognised sickness), you can pop one drop of peppermint oil onto a tissue and place it within sniffing distance. Don't take massages or baths with peppermint during pregnancy, however, as it's a bit stimulating when applied directly to the skin.

There's some debate in the professional aromatherapy world on the best combinations of oils for pregnant women. These are my opinions, but they definitely err on the side of caution as regards safety and effects. 


**Use this advice at your own discretion**


For more information on aromatherapy's healing advantage, check out AromaWeb.

Ever since I started to plan this birth, I knew that water would be a key element.  Water is just one of those things that I can always count on to make me feel just that little bit better when I am sick, a tad more relaxed when I am stressed and revitalized when I am tired.  It only makes sense that I would also use it during labour for the same reasons.

It's not just my personal preferences, though, that make this an appealing choice.  Water births offer proven benefits for labouring women and babies.

For Mom:

Pain relief.  (Through deeper relaxation, buoyancy, comfort, softening of the perineum relieves burning)
Better Mobility provided by the opposition to gravity.
Buoyancy reduces pressure on the abdomen producing better circulation and blood flow.
Relaxes pelvic floor muscles.
Lowers/eliminates need for interventions

For Baby:

Transition from womb to outside world is more gentle (moving from water on the inside to water on the outside)

The overwhelming benefits of water birth make it a increasingly popular birth practice, even in hospital births as many hospitals now offer birthing suites with jacuzzi tubs.  Some risks are attributed to water birth, although these risks appear to be quite low and non life threatening, such as baby breathing under water and cord trauma.  A skilled attendant combined with the low risk, make this a completely safe and viable option for labouring women.

Women who have water birth have overwhelmingly positive birth experiences.  Here is the lovely water birth story of a dear friend, who has been a powerful inspiration to me throughout my own birth planning. <3






Part 1 - Pre/Passive Labour


My due date is October 7th, 2009 as such I was officially full term on Wed. September 16th. Having been swelling like crazy when I went to my prenatal appointment with my secondary midwife, Rhea, on Monday the 14th of September, I jokingly told her that I was giving out an eviction notice for Wednesday. She said that as long as I waited more than 24 hours to go into labour (in other words Tuesday afternoon) I could still have my homebirth. 24 hours and 15 minutes later my water broke.

Trevor was at his friend William’s house on Tuesday afternoon and Logan had fallen asleep for his nap. I was exhausted, not having slept well the previous couple of nights so I decided to take advantage and nap as well. Good thing! When I woke up a couple of hours later, about 3:30 pm and went to the washroom (downstairs), I was fine. I started walking upstairs for a snack, when as I was walking I thought, “Why am I still going to the bathroom?” The amniotic fluid just soaked my pants so I raced to the upstairs bathroom and continued gushing into it. Two thoughts occurred: The first was – Exactly how much amniotic fluid did I have because it just kept on coming? And the second was “We all live in a Yellow Submarine” (I have no idea where that one came from, but heck, it is such a fun song, why not).

So I called my husband and asked if he could come home. He responded, sure no problem, why what’s up? I replied that I was in labour because my water broke. Pause, he replied, “Alright then, I’ll be home as soon as I can.” I had my primary midwife, Lucia, paged and verified I could stay at home. She said that I could (yay). In the meantime I needed to clear out the kitchen to set up the birthing pool. Contractions hadn’t really began so I was just clearing out the chairs and table and I swept up the floor – didn’t want this morning’s cereal to poke holes in the pool! In the meantime I changed my FB status to read that Alison is in labour and got lots of chatting done with various online friends. I called a few RL friends to let them know what was happening, as well as my mom and my FIL/SMIL. I also called William’s house to see if Trevor could stay longer, and he was able to stay until my Mom came home and he went over there.

I got into contact with Lucia and as I wasn’t having particularly strong contractions she decided to wait until after dinner to get checked out. I’d called my husband, asked him to pick up some Swiss Chalet and go to the store for a few groceries as I didn’t really want to go myself. He got back around 5:30ish and by the time Trevor came back we ate around 6 pm. Contractions were stronger now – I had to pause between bites for them, but still not that bad. Lucia showed up around 7 pm and did a cervical check (ouch). 2 cm dilated and still about 90% thick. She then said we would have to go to the hospital if things didn’t progress fast enough since my waters had broken. We made plans to go after Trevor was taken to school (his first day of Senior Kindergarten). Oh, I did e-mail his teacher to let her know he might not be there as I was in labour.

Anyhow, we did the whole night-time routine, my SMIL came over and helped put the kids to bed as well as tidy up (God bless her). I went on Facebook and had numerous conversations with many people. By about 11:30 pm the contractions were intensifying, but as I was keeping track of them, they were completely irregular. I contacted Lucia and asked for some pain management techniques so that I could try to sleep (ha-ha). She told me hot bath and Gravol. The bath really relaxed me and I think the Gravol helped to kick start more coordinated contractions. Within an hour, I’d asked Rob to fill in the hospital paperwork just in case. While he was filling it in, I was contracting strong enough to moan. He paused and asked if every time I was moaning it was from a contraction. I replied yes and could he keep track of them. They were about 3 minutes apart and 1 minute long … after about 45 minutes of this I asked him to call Lucia. So he called at about 1:30 am. She got packed up and arrived within 15 minutes (she said that she knows it is time to come when she gets the call from the husband and can hear the wife groaning in the background). In the meantime he started filling the birthing pool – to the perfect temperature I might add!


Part 2 - Passive/ Active Labour

Lucia got there helped me work through the contractions and got set up. She did another cervical check … 4 cm and about 90% thinned out – baby in the perfect position, bent correctly for an efficient birth. Thanks Connor. By this point it was 2 am and I wanted in that tub!!!!

I got in and life was so much better. The warmth relaxed me between contractions, because it was a blow up pool, it was like being surrounded by a pillow, so I could lie back comfortably. We had the digital photo album going with some of my favourite 80s music (although no Yellow Submarine – I’ll have to remedy that). The contractions were intensifying to the point where I had to do deep guttural sounds to keep focused (thanks Paula). By 2:40 am Lucia decided, based on my incredibly pleasant and calm demeanour, to check me again. 7 cm, completely effaced, cervix totally thinned out. She said that I needed to feel the pain and when it moved towards my rear, to let her know because that would mean I was about ready to push and she’d call Rhea at that point.
Rob was rubbing my forehead during the contractions and oddly enough it helped to keep me a bit more grounded – for one contraction he didn’t do it and I was like Rob – forehead – now. I guess I needed the connection.

3:10 am I am very politely saying that this whole no pain relief thing was a mistake and I was an idiot for doing this, I was not strong enough to do it – oh and the pain has moved to my rear. She said she knew it was almost over because when the mom starts complaining like that, she must be almost ready. She called Rhea and went to get her flashlight to check on things. She went to the car and came back, shone the light and said, okay the babies head is right there, and when you feel the urge to push let me know. 3:17 am – I needed to push! I said I have to push now. She said listen to your body and do it. The most intense feeling I’ve ever experienced was Connor moving through the birth canal. Because of the water it hurt, but it didn’t really burn. I felt as though I was just doing one long push with one big contraction instead of a bunch of little ones. Rob was holding up my left thigh, Lucia was holding up my right and I was bearing down – screaming that I can’t do this. His head came out and Lucia asked if I wanted to touch his head, I was like NO, I’m busy. 3:21 am – Connor was completely out and in my arms. I don’t think that I have ever been prouder of myself than I was at that moment – and I would never go back to a hospital birth again. The first thing I said when I saw Connor was “I love you”. Rhea showed up about 5 minutes later – which was too bad because I’d asked her to take pictures of the birth. :( Oh well.


Part 3 - End of Labour/Post Labour

We waited until the umbilical cord had stopped pulsating, about 15 minutes, before Rhea cut it (so that in Lucia’s words, Rhea actually did something to help). We then very gracefully and elegantly got me out of the tub and moved to the mattress that was set up in the living room. I lay down, Connor got some lovely skin to skin with me and he showed his true self – a boob monster through and through. He latched on and I am pretty sure the Jaws of Life weren’t getting him off of me. In the meantime we were waiting for some more contractions to get the placenta out. I waited, and waited, and waited. There were some contractions, but every time I tried to push out the placenta, it just didn’t happen. After about half an hour, they said that we needed to get the placenta out so I could either get an oxytocin shot or go to the hospital to have it manually removed. I basically said that I didn’t just go through all of that to end up in hospital now … give me the shot! Rhea did and 4 minutes later the placenta was out cleanly. Now, the normal range in length for the umbilical cord is 20 cm – 80 cm; the longer it is the more the baby moved around in-utero. Connor’s cord was about 1 metre long, now I can safely say why I didn’t sleep well near the end of the pregnancy. After the placenta was delivered, Lucia looked for tearing and said there was a teeny one at the base of the vaginal entrance that was small enough not to need stitches but because of the placement, she wanted to put in two, so ensure that it would heal properly. I said sure, she gave me some local freezing, as I was getting the shots; I asked why does freezing burn when it goes in? They said they didn’t know, so I asked is it freezer burn? They thought that was funny and in very little time I was all stitched up and ready to start the next phase of my life … mother to three beautiful boys.

Here's a round up of my favourite blog posts from the week!

Momotic's post on the new home birth study attracts a very special guest!!!  Where ever home birth is mentioned on the interwebs, Dr Amy is there to save us silly women from our own idiocy.

Women, Uncensored invites Laura Field, childbirth educator to guest post an amazing, inspirational article entitled "Who is the Expert".

The Feminist Breeder shares her awesome advice on How to Have a Better VBAC

The Curious Lactivist praises the portrayal of Pam's birth on 'The Office' (which was really awesome)

Also, big thanks to my new readers!

Happy Weekend!!!!

The human body has very little respect from most people. Our functions are gross and our insides are 'guts' and natural human processes are below us more new and improved 'civilized' people. We apologize for gas, we turn taps on in the bathroom so no one can hear and we cover our babies as they eat from our breasts. Human beings have become very phobic of their naturalness.

I have often seen imagines of labouring women bouncing on big exercise balls and wondered exactly how they help during labour.

In planning my home birth, I had put 'birth ball' on my list of supplies but quickly realized I had no idea why or how I was going to use it!  Seeing it on birth videos and hearing how helpful it was is all good and everything, but would it really be useful to me if I had no clue what it is supposed to accomplish?!  Here is what I learned....

A birth ball is soft yet firm, so it is a comfortable place to sit during labour while offering support to the pelvic region.  Also, the fact that it forces better posture helps straining muscles.  As you sit, you are free to rock your hips and body and move rhythmically to relieve the intense feelings of labour.  Being upright is an optimal position for the second stage of labour and the birth ball facilitates the position effectively while helping the pelvis to open.

A birth ball accommodates a variety of comfortable positions for labour and delivery.  Some recommended positions are sitting or squatting on the ball, kneeling while resting head or torso on the ball, leaning on the ball while standing and squatting with the ball resting between back and wall.  Any way you use it though, a birth ball should make movement just a little bit easier.

Once I knew why it helps, it was time to ask around and see how it helps.  I called upon friend and fellow pregnant Goddess Mandi Taylor to answer this question for me...

"I started using the birthing ball when I was 37 weeks pregnant. That was when my prodromal labor had started. My baby hadn’t dropped into position, killing my lungs. My mother suggested I used one of her ‘exercise balls’ as a birthing ball to see if I could help him in his descent. That night, after filling the ball, I spent 2 hours on it. With the first 30 minutes, I could feel him dropping. At the end of the 2 hours, I knew he had fully engaged. I brought the ball with me to the hospital when I was in active labor. I spent about 90% of my labor on that thing. I labored, in the hospital, for less than 4 hours before I started pushing. I pushed for 17 minutes and I was done! I will recommend a birthing ball to everyone and anyone and I give it credit for my easy labor and delivery! I can only imagine how much it will help this time around when I include a birthing pool."


I'm sold!!  And what a great point about the birthing pool that I had never considered.  Another great advantage of the birth ball is that it can follow you into the shower or birthing pool.  I received this tip via Twitter, "I bring out the birth ball in all the labors Im at. I used it a lot in my own. Hands & knees in the shower hugging the ball" (Apartment_Mama).  This was a great revelation for me as I plan on using water (in the shower and in the pool) as my main source of pain management.  Now I will having another aide that can follow me everywhere I need to go to provide me with even more support.


I bought my birth ball today, at a thrift shop, for $8 and I am currently sitting on it as I write this post.  Already, I feel the benefits as it takes pressure off my pelvis and eases my round ligament pain.  This is shaping up to be the best $8 I ever spent.

For all the logical reasons that breastfeeding in public is permitted and protected, there are still people who will argue that it is not or should not be allowed. Usually, these  are usually a knee jerk reaction to an image of the breasts we have become all to familiar with and most arguments against nursing in public hold little water when rationally examined.

For the last couple of years, a group on Facebook called "Hey, Facebook, Breastfeeding is not Obscene" has existed to protest Facebook's position that images of breastfeeding are obscene and harmful to children, and therefore do not belong on Facebook.  In that time, the members have heard every possible argument against nursing in public. For instance, my personal favourite...

"Well taking a shit is natural is I don't do that in public/take pictures of it". Shitting is excreting waste from the body; breastfeeding is eating. I'm sure even a moron can figure out the difference. One is a bacteria ridden waste and the other is life giving nourishment. The part of this argument that bothers me the most is that noone would ever compare themselves eating to taking a shit, so why babies? Why do babies have to be subjected to such repulsive comparisons just because their food is manufactured in a breast instead of a factory? And why is human lactation held in such low regards that most people equate it with human waste? These are attitudes I long to understand, and change.

"Breastfeeding is intimate/a bonding experience like making love, and we don't do that in public/take pictures of it". Ummm...I do;) Seriously though, my main issue with this argument is that is is sexualizing breastfeeding just because it involves the breast. It's hard for some to see the breast as anything but a sexual object and confuses them to see it as anything else, especially in the context nurturing and nourishing children. The truth is that breastfeeding has very little in common with love making...besides the fact that both CAN be a bonding experience, and both can NOT be a bonding experience. Sometimes sex is just sex. Sometimes breastfeeding is just feeding.

"Breastfeeding is private". If breastfeeding is private than so is bottle feeding and so it adults eating supper for it's all the same thing!!! Let me ask this, when is the last time anyone here grabbed a ham sandwich and took into a private room to bond with it before you ate it? ANYONE? I didn't think so. I am pretty sure the majority of us just eat our food, just as babies deserve to do.

"You don't need to post breastfeeding pictures on Facebook". And for that matter noone needs to post anything at all on Facebook. You do not need to post a picture of yourself standing in front of the CN Tower, but you do because it is a snapshot of your life. For a breastfeeding mother, a nursing baby is a snapshot of her life. In the first few months she may spend 8 hours a day with a baby to her breast. She will attend weddings, picnics and other social events with her baby and that baby will need to eat. Pictures are taken and shared, breasts are shown, no big deal. Just another normal day. 

It could be easily argued that there is a need to post nursing pictures on Facebook. Many of the photos were removed from groups dedicated to breastfeeding support. Pictures of breastfeeding often give mothers a good visual aide when it comes to latch and positioning. In a society where breastfeeding is no longer the norm and support is scarce, these visual aides and online support are all some women are able to get access to. Denying them of this valuable information is shameful.

"I don't want to see your breast". I don't want to see your ugly face, but unfortunately I have no right to demand you to fuck off and wear a paper bag. Instead, I just do this thing called 'looking away', very cheap and easy to do. I wait for the day I can use this one in real life...it will be priceless.

If you agree, please join us on Facebook for the Mother's International Lactation Campaign (or M.I.L.C) in protest of their removal of breastfeeding images from the site (including priceless works of art and barnyard animals) and to the deletion of nursing Mother's accounts from the site, for doing nothing but sharing pictures of their babies precious lives.

I love being pregnant!  There is something about the full curves of my pregnant body that make me feel incredibly sexy and sensual.  The daily reminder of my sexuality in my ever expanding belly feeds these feelings and enhances my normal sense of femininity and Womanhood.  I feel like pregnancy is a vital part of my sex life.

"Orgasmic Birth brings the ultimate challenge to our cultural myths by inviting viewers to see the emotional, spiritual, and physical heights attainable through birth. Witness the passion as birth is revealed as an integral part of woman's sexuality and a neglected human right."

I am approaching my upcoming birth with this perspective in mind and with the expectation that my birth experience will be fulfilling to my soul in the same way that making love is fulfilling to my soul.  To me this starts with exploring and embracing my sexuality during pregnancy as well, which I am very happily doing...as is my very happy partner!