Glowing Goddess

Between this photo of the birthing 'policy' at the Aspen Women's Centre in Provo, Utah and the doctor's 'birth plan' posted today on The Unnecessarian I am left to wonder why women are even ALLOWED to have babies anymore, because obviously we know nothing about the process and have no rights in the matter.

Let's talk about this photo, to start.  First of all, I am trying to clarify what a 'doulah attended' birth is and if it is, in fact, the same thing as a doula attended birth.  If that is the case, then the assertion that "the physicians at Aspen Women's Centre care about the quality of their patients deliveries" is just a total crock of shit.  In fact, they are actually denying women a quality birthing experience.

Women supported by a doula during labor have been shown to have:

• 50% reduction in cesarean rate
• 25% shorter labor
• 60% reduction in epidural requests
• 30% reduction in analgesic use
• 40% reduction in forceps delivery

Am I missing something here?  Like maybe the part where 'doulahs' are a threat to the welfare of patients and unborn babies.

Birth contracts or birth plans are also, apparently, harming Moms and babies.  Pesky women are their silly rights.  When will we learn that we are just too silly and stupid to have wants and needs and ideas about what is best for our bodies and babies.  Luckily, this "Women's" (I am going to use that term loosely, from now on) center solves the problem by just NOT GIVING us any choices.  Wunderbar!  I am glad that they have finally realized that ignoring women is the absolute best way to give them a positive birthing experience. /sarcasm

And to top of the list of what's harmful to Mom's and babies....NATURAL CHILDBIRTH!  Yes these 'physicians' also refuse to participate in natural childbirthing.  I can't imagine what a birth experience must be like in this place...but I am picturing some sort of robotic harvesting procedure involving tethers and lots of drugs.


Moving right along I present exhibit B.  A birth plan given to patients by a doctor.  So much is wrong with this that I am not even sure where to start or if I have the patience to address it all.  I trust you will all read for yourself, but here are some of my favourite highlights.

epidurals are safe and do not interfere with labor in anyway even if administered very early in labor

BULLSHIT!!  Studies have shown that a very common side effect of epidural anesthesia is dystocia (slowed labour progression) and often leads to the use of other risky interventions such as the use of Pitocin, forcepts or vacuum and c section.

Your legs will be positioned in the standard delivery stirrups. This is the most comfortable position for you. It also provides maximum space in your pelvis

BULLSHIT!!  That is the most comfortable position for a PHYSICIAN.   Birthing on the back is actually one of the most uncomfortable and least effective positions to birth in...besides standing on your hands, possibly.

I will clamp the umbilical cord shortly after I deliver your baby. Delaying this procedure is not beneficial and can potentially be harmful to your baby.

BULLSHIT!!  There is NO evidence that this is true.  In fact, recent studies show the exact opposite to be true.  Ever hear of lotus birth?  Google it.

 The rate of maternal and fetal complications increases rapidly after 39 weeks.

BULLSHIT!!  The normal gestation time for a human being is 38-42 weeks and ever after the 42 week mark the risks are very low, particularly if babe is monitored and showing no signs of distress.  This is complete fabrication and fear mongering...probably for his own convenience.

I am APPALLED at the way birth is treated by a growing number of physicians.  It's time women took back their bodies and their birth.  One more reason to SUPPORT MIDWIFERY!!