Sunday Outing

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Here is Albion Falls where my girlfriend and I decided to go for a hike today to take some photos.  The landscape was breath taking and incredibly relaxing on a warmish Autumn morning.  I sat for a good short while as H-Man played with his friend and breathed the damp leaves.  The sound of the waterfall was calming and the sun was warm.  It was exactly what I needed today, since fatigue has taken over.

One thing I absolutely loved about this place was the purple and green clay that covered parts of it.  It reminded me of an avocado.

H-Man, who is not usually so apt to having his picture taken, was a great subject today and I got many wonderful shots of  him.

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So...I was going to wait 5 more days to test but since I have a First Response Test and I can actually test 6 days early, I decided to test today.

I got a BFP!!!

It's faint, yes, but do keep n mind that I am only 14DPO which translates to about 3 and a half weeks pregnant.

I will test again in a week and make sure my BFP is still there....


Apparently, Women know the LEAST About Birthing out Babies

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Between this photo of the birthing 'policy' at the Aspen Women's Centre in Provo, Utah and the doctor's 'birth plan' posted today on The Unnecessarian I am left to wonder why women are even ALLOWED to have babies anymore, because obviously we know nothing about the process and have no rights in the matter.

Let's talk about this photo, to start.  First of all, I am trying to clarify what a 'doulah attended' birth is and if it is, in fact, the same thing as a doula attended birth.  If that is the case, then the assertion that "the physicians at Aspen Women's Centre care about the quality of their patients deliveries" is just a total crock of shit.  In fact, they are actually denying women a quality birthing experience.

Women supported by a doula during labor have been shown to have:
  • 50% reduction in cesarean rate
  • 25% shorter labor
  • 60% reduction in epidural requests
  • 30% reduction in analgesic use
  • 40% reduction in forceps delivery

Am I missing something here?  Like maybe the part where 'doulahs' are a threat to the welfare of patients and unborn babies.

Birth contracts or birth plans are also, apparently, harming Moms and babies.  Pesky women are their silly rights.  When will we learn that we are just too silly and stupid to have wants and needs and ideas about what is best for our bodies and babies.  Luckily, this "Women's" (I am going to use that term loosely, from now on) center solves the problem by just NOT GIVING us any choices.  Wunderbar!  I am glad that they have finally realized that ignoring women is the absolute best way to give them a positive birthing experience. /sarcasm

And to top of the list of what's harmful to Mom's and babies....NATURAL CHILDBIRTH!  Yes these 'physicians' also refuse to participate in natural childbirthing.  I can't imagine what a birth experience must be like in this place...but I am picturing some sort of robotic harvesting procedure involving tethers and lots of drugs.

Moving right along I present exhibit B.  A birth plan given to patients by a doctor.  So much is wrong with this that I am not even sure where to start or if I have the patience to address it all.  I trust you will all read for yourself, but here are some of my favourite highlights.

epidurals are safe and do not interfere with labor in anyway even if administered very early in labor

BULLSHIT!!  Studies have shown that a very common side effect of epidural anesthesia is dystocia (slowed labour progression) and often leads to the use of other risky interventions such as the use of Pitocin, forcepts or vacuum and c section.

Your legs will be positioned in the standard delivery stirrups. This is the most comfortable position for you. It also provides maximum space in your pelvis

BULLSHIT!!  That is the most comfortable position for a PHYSICIAN.   Birthing on the back is actually one of the most uncomfortable and least effective positions to birth in...besides standing on your hands, possibly.

I will clamp the umbilical cord shortly after I deliver your baby. Delaying this procedure is not beneficial and can potentially be harmful to your baby.

BULLSHIT!!  There is NO evidence that this is true.  In fact, recent studies show the exact opposite to be true.  Ever hear of lotus birth?  Google it.

 The rate of maternal and fetal complications increases rapidly after 39 weeks.

BULLSHIT!!  The normal gestation time for a human being is 38-42 weeks and ever after the 42 week mark the risks are very low, particularly if babe is monitored and showing no signs of distress.  This is complete fabrication and fear mongering...probably for his own convenience.

I am APPALLED at the way birth is treated by a growing number of physicians.  It's time women took back their bodies and their birth.  One more reason to SUPPORT MIDWIFERY!!
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Why Didn't Juno Just Get an Abortion?

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Juno soundtrack album coverImage via Wikipedia
'Juno' is one of my favourite movies of the last couple of years, so I get defensive when I hear or read comments blasting it.  This is why I often do not take my reaction to those comments seriously.  I overreact, and I know it.  It doesn't help that I absolutely LOVE Ellen Page, Michael Cera and Diablo this movie is like peanut butter cups dipped in creamy cold milk.

One comment, however, has been festering in the back of my mind since I read it...perhaps it deserves my attention.

I want to start out by saying that I LOVE Bitch Magazine.  I often find myself 'Ah-ha-ing" and nodding along to everything I read from them.  That's exactly what I was doing in this blog article about Archie comics...until I got about half way through and read this:

Maybe asking why Archie can’t just pick one girl already is as pointless as asking why Juno didn’t just get an abortion: because then there would be no story.

I read this.  I re-read it.  I slept on it and read it again.  No matter which way I slice this sentence, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  The implication that the only logical reason for a woman to chose not to abort an unwanted pregnancy is that...well, that there is no logical reason is offensive.  That the only reason fathomable to choose adoption is for the sake of a funny story, is an insult to the countless women who have made that choice.  

I am not debating against abortion here, because I am pro choice.  PRO CHOICE...meaning I feel that women should have the freedom to make reproductive choices without judgement, ridicule or question.  To me, that includes those who DON'T chose abortion.

I can agree with the Author on one thing though; It is pointless to ask, because it's not our fucking business!
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Happy Birthday H-Man! A birth story

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The date was October 14th and I was just about 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby boy. I had a great pregnancy up to this point (minus the morning-noon-and-night sickness that had me incapacitated for 2 months). In the week leading up to this day though, I had been feeling a bit That day, I decided to satisfy my craving for Coffee Crisp and headed to Walmart to buy some Hallowe'en candy. CO and I headed to the baby section at the back to have a look around. As soon as we got back there I felt winded and dizzy. I went into the shoe section to sit on one of their chairs. For whatever reason, I decided that maybe I should make my way to the pharmacy to have my blood pressure checked at the little machine they have back there. It took me a while, but I made it back there.

When I sat at the machine and saw my results I was a little shocked. My blood pressure was something like 140/111 and by the guide on the machine, that was high. SO took me home and I called my Mom at work to tell her and ask her what she thought. (She worked in a doctors office for 20 some odd years so she's seen just about everything). She wasn't sure so she came home and looked online to see what she could find. At this point, I was feeling better and thinking that maybe it was just a panic attack since I used to get those often. My Mom insisted we go to the hospital we did.

When we got to the hospital, I went right up to L&D (cause thankfully I had gone to preregister at the hospital THAT VERY MORNING) and told them my situation at Walmart and how high my blood pressure was when I checked it at the machine. The L&D nurse laughed at me, "You don't know how many scared pregnant women we get in here because they check their BP on those stupid machine. They are not accurate". I gave my Mom a dirty look...I knew we shouldn't have come!! She said she'd check me out just to make me feel we went into a room and I peed in a cup and sat down to have my BP checked. She was right it was NOT accurate. It was HIGHER than the machine at Walmart read! That combined with the amount of protein in my urine meant, induction...tonight. I was shocked. I remember sitting on the bed nodding to the doctor as she told me this but not really realizing what was about to happen. I WAS HAVING MY BABY!!!

I called SO to tell him and he headed up to the hospital to join me. I received my first gel application that night, at about 9PM. Nothing really happened. The next morning, my bitch of an OB showed up in my room and made me cry and then gave me a second application of the gel. This was at about 10PM. Almost immediately, I started feeling mild cramping/contracting AND I had to take a poop. I told the doctor and she told me I didn't have to, it was just the gel and made me cry again. (She is an awful woman.) My Mom verbally assaulted her, and she left. As soon as she was gone, I went and had a poop:)

Anywho, the contractions started almost immediately after that. I was scared and unprepared (at barely 35 weeks pregnant) and was not dealing well at ALL with the situation. My nurse was concerned I was working myself up too much, so she gave me Demerol. That didn't help anything. Now, not only was I scared and in pain but I felt like I was drunk AND hungover all at the same time. I spent the next hour or two alternating between yelling weird random things, barfing and passing out.

Once I was 6 or 7 CM they decided that I could get an epidural. I don't remember much after the Demerol but I do remember getting the epidural and the way it felt going into my spine. And then I remember being numb and relaxed. I slept for 30 minutes. While I napped, Corey went downstairs to grab a coffee from Timmies. By the time he got back, I was in stirrups and ready to push. It was shortly after 4Pm when I started pushing. I remember only 2 things about the pushing stage: one was getting shit by my nurse that I wasn't pushing (Umm...can't feel half of my body lady AND I am pretty high at the moment, forgive me for not following your drills to a tee) and the second thing was SO in the back of the room, sipping on his coffee with a big smile on his face.

At 4:58 PM on October 15th my tiny baby boy was born weighing 5lb 4 oz. My first words were "Oh. My. God" as I could not believe I had just given birth to my baby. Then I said "Is he alright". He started to cry and I started to cry too. Corey cut the cord and they checked him out, and finally I got to see him. He was so tiny and beautiful.

The happiness of his birth was short lived when they took him away to the nursery and began testing and checking me. For 3 days after the birth of my baby boy I saw him only a handful of times. I was kept in a darkened room and was not allowed to do anything, not even crochet H-Man's baby blanket. On day 4, I was allowed to feed him and kept him in my room for an hour here and there. By day 6, I was going insane. I was starting to feel symptoms of my anxiety and begged someone to just let me go home...I would feel better once I was home. On day 6, I got in shit by my OB again because I didn't want to take MORE drugs (it was just a Gravol, but I already felt like I was taking too many drugs). as punishment she didn't come to see me for 2 more days, and thus, I was not able to be discharged. I spent 2 days dressed and ready to go but no one showed up.

Finally, on October 23, I was discharged from the hospital. Still feeling like crap, but not willing to admit that to anyone. As soon as he and I were officially discharged and his alarm bracelet was cut off i BAILED out of the hospital. They wanted to push me down in a damn wheelchair...but I just wanted out of there. I RAN down a back stair case and SO was right behind me with baby and my Mom followed in the rear. We busted open a door and there was my Dad's car waiting outside to take us home.

It was such a relief to get home and actually get time with my new baby. He was already 9 days old and I felt like I barely knew him yet. The first couple of days home were harder since my BP was still high and I was dizzy and tired, but I had plenty of help. H-Man was also a very laid back baby, so it made caring for him that much easier.

I can't believe that was 5 years ago! It seems like just yesterday he was a tiny newborn...but in some ways it feels like he's been in my life forever...maybe cause i can't imagine it without him.

Happy Birthday H my tiny angel~

Baby Girl and Crazy Cat

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Here is a photo I snapped of L-Cat over the Thanksgiving weekend.  She was running around topless with a spaghetti squash stick on her chest.  I loved the way the light caught her face and decided to take a picture.  Just can't figure out what caused the circle of light on her other cheek.  Hmmmm...

This second picture is one of my cat, Pancake, who has an interesting way of sleeping.  She looked so sweet I just had to take a quick shot of her.

She slept like this for the better part of an hour and she was purring super loud and slow.  I wish I would have gotten a shot of her face when she woke up.  It was seriously priceless...messy fur and tired eyes.

Name Change

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I just changed the name of my blog.  

I can't believe how long it took me to find an available name!  It only took me about 30 attempts.  Between 'This address is not available' and 'Type the Word EXACTLY as show in the picture' I must have put a good 45 minutes into the process.  Those pictures, BTW, (the ones where all the letters are squiggled and different sizes that must be entered to prove my human status) gave me a bloody headache!

I made it through though and came out on the other side as the Glowing Goddess (AKA Radioactive Female)

2 Week Wait

7:06 AM Posted In , , , Edit This 0 Comments » fertility charting this month was a bit more confusing than I anticipated. None of the signals seemed particularly clear to me and my cervix felt more or less the same the whole damn time. Based on what Fertility Friend told me and from my own personal feelings, I have set my ovulation day at October 7th, which was CD12 and means I can test on the 21st. I am already a week into my 2WW and it's going to be busy enough this week to keep my mind off of before I know it I will be testing!! And hopefully getting a POSITIVE!!

I have been having some symptoms as well...some nausea, cramping, constipation, dizziness, headaches, fatigue. Could these be the first pregnancy symptoms? 7 days until I can find out!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!!!Image by IndyDina with Mr. Wonderful via Flickr

I have been absent from the internets for a couple of days, so I just wanted to back track a little and wish everyone out in cyber world a Happy Thanksgiving.

My very first turkey turned out fantastic! I was very pleased with myself. It was nice and tender and juicy. Mmmmm......! The stuffing turned out excellently too. I added some shredded apple to it and that gave it a little something extra. I can't wait until Christmas to do it again!

I spent some time thinking about what I am thankful for...and I do have so much to be thankful for. I am thankful for my SO because he is amazing and he knows me better than anyone else. I am thankful for my children, who are healthy and smart and funny and sweet. I am thankful for my apartment, which keeps us warm and safe. I am thankful for my friends who are always there for me. I am thankful for the Earth and the miracles I see in nature every single day. I am just so darn thankful!

Ain't No Energizer Bunny Here!

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Energizer BunnyImage via Wikipedia

Today is day four of my mystery ailment that has me completely and utterly wiped out. I feel tired, have low energy and have been having bouts of dizziness and slight nausea. SO think's his magical sperm have already impregnated me...and I will admit that this is very much I felt with my other pregnancies. Like I mentioned, though, I am not even sure that I have ovulated yet and it seems a bit early to be already feeling symptoms. That still leaves me unsure of what the hell is going on!!

I did manage to get out today and buy my Thanksgiving turkey and all the fixings. this is going to be my FIRST time ever cooking a turkey...or a Thanksgiving meal of my own so I am very excited/nervous/too-tired-to-think-about-cooking-it. I am an excellent cook, though, so I am sure I will figure it all out. If not, no one had better say anything about it or they will be making their own meals from then on. I did get a spaghetti squash too which I LOOOVE and am excited to sink my teeth into.

Other that that outing today and the the big pot of homemade chicken noodle soup I have simmering on the stove, I have been pretty much stationed on the couch for a couple of days. i fully expect the spend tomorrow in bed...and fully expect some breakfast in bed. Maybe pancakes, bacon and a nice cup of tea?
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Cab Crazies

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So I had an interesting experience yesterday. The family and I decided to head over to the shopping plaza to grab a few things. I needed to get some pregnancy tests, and SO wanted to grab a new XBOX game and we needed to grab some crickets and frozen mice. Since it was freezing out, we called a cab.

Cab showed up and we got inside. I sat in the back with the kids and SO rode shot gun. About a minute into the drive he turn around and says to me, rather excitedly "Have you heard the good news?" I was like, "What news?" and he says "Mr and Mrs Claus are real". I laughed...and thought he was making a big joke for the kids.

BUT THEN he proceeded to rant on and on about some shit that I couldn't even follow. He talked about Mrs Claus being real...SOOO real...and blind and then seemingly totally changed the subject onto the unconscious world, and then to Jesus on the Mount of Olives. At one point I am pretty sure he was talking about the crucifix and flipped me the bird.

When we finally got to the mall, I jumped out with the kids right away but the cabbie kept SO in there for a minute or two more blabbing about crazy bullshit. Poor guy. after the cabbie left, we both looked at each other, puzzled, and decided to call a different cab company for the ride home.

Hump Day

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Today is Wednesday...and today is day two of sickness. Luckily, it's nothing serious just fatigue, headache and fever. Sadly, it's also interfering with my BBT temping. As if pinpointing ovulation wasn't going to be hard enough, now I can't even wait for the temperature shift. I will continue babydancing every damn day until menses returns if I have to! I don't want to do this next month.

Today is CD12 and I have 4 days until forecasted ovulation. I am hoping that in those 4 days, signs of ovulation will become clearer to me.

Camera Fund

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Here it is....the Canon EOS Rebel T1i. My dream camera. I have set up a change jar in the living room and am taking up a collection for my camera fund. My goal is to have at least half of the money saved up by March of next year, and then use part of my income tax refund to pay for the rest.

So far I have approximately $2...but it's a start.

Breastfeeding Challenge!

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Saturday, October 3 2009 was the Quintessence Foundations annual Breastfeeding Challenge which is held every year during Breastfeeding Week. The goal is not only friendly competition but an attempt to bring breastfeeding into the community to normalize it.

This year, my location had 30 nurslings and 29 Moms. The record number for that location. I was very proud to be a part of that.

This year's these for WBW is "Breastfeeding – a vital emergency response". With the recent string of natural disasters in our world, it's important to remember that in times of emergency formula, bottles and clean water will not always be available. In times of emergency, breastfeeding saves lives.

For info on the Quintessence Foundation, the Breastfeeding Challenge or World breastfeeding Week, click HERE.


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Since SO and I are TTC, I have been charting my cycle this month and so far I am completely confused. I am on CD9 and not following what all the websites are telling me that my body should be doing.

I think I am ovulating...or getting ready to.

First 5 days of cycle were AF followed by 4 days of creamy CM and today with watery CM. Last night my cervix was softer than the days before and today I am having some mild cramp-like sensations on my left side which, from what I read, could be ovulation pains.

I spent a good our scrutinizing the pictures on My Beautiful Cervix while inspecting my own cervix and mucous. By the end of it, my brain was fried.

All I can do is baby dance every day and hope for success because I am not sure if I'll ever understand what the hell is going on.

I did pick out a name today...a full girls name. Now to get pregnant.
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Evaw Elgoog

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Looks like jibberish, doesn't it? Well it is, kind of. It's just Google Wave spelled backwards. I couldn't think of a clever enough title so that will have to do.

I just heard about Wave today on Twitter (Go trending topics) and even though I have no clue what it is, I desperately want to get an invite to use it! Good marketing strategy, Google.

So, how about someone sends me an invite so I can explore and discover Google Wave and it's sheer awesomeness. Pleeeeease???
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Contact the Glowing Goddess