Input from the Other Half
1:35 PM Posted In Birth , Birth Choices , Family , Homebirth , Random Thoughts , Relationships Edit This 0 Comments »
Since I am planning a homebirth in July, I have been looking alot at online forums looking through the experiences of others'. I am reading some incredibly inspiring stories and getting some great advice but I am also noticing something that has got me thinking about how much input I give my other half.
It started with a discussion thread on The Bump in which a Mum-to-Be was inquiring about hospital policy on epidurals during a water birth. This woman wanted to have a water birth but her HUSBAND insisted that she have an epidural...and this way okay. Afterall, his job was a physicians assistant so he knew better. Right??
The more I read, and the more people I talk to the more I realise that there is a huge amount of women who are giving up their birth choices to the one person who should be supporting and empowering them...their partner. To me, that's very sad.
I never considered giving my partner any input on any of my births...but he never assumed he should give any. I just always figured giving birth is my experience from by body and thus, the decisions of how and where I would do it was always up to me. I'd expect that if I decided to birth in the backyard, suspended from a tree in the middle of a drum circle with a voodoo priestess, he would trust that was the best thing and support that. I would be deeply insulted to have him question my judgement.
Now I am not saying that I don't care about how my partner feels. If he were uncomfortable with my birth choices, I would gladly supply him with some materials to 'get comfortable' but I definitely would not allow for his insecurities and control issues to stand in the way of me and the birth I wish to have. Birth is the single most personal and life altering experience in a woman's life, and that should not be taken away from her by her partner.
So I want to know what YOU think? How much consideration, if any, should a man have in his partners birth choices?
It started with a discussion thread on The Bump in which a Mum-to-Be was inquiring about hospital policy on epidurals during a water birth. This woman wanted to have a water birth but her HUSBAND insisted that she have an epidural...and this way okay. Afterall, his job was a physicians assistant so he knew better. Right??
The more I read, and the more people I talk to the more I realise that there is a huge amount of women who are giving up their birth choices to the one person who should be supporting and empowering them...their partner. To me, that's very sad.
I never considered giving my partner any input on any of my births...but he never assumed he should give any. I just always figured giving birth is my experience from by body and thus, the decisions of how and where I would do it was always up to me. I'd expect that if I decided to birth in the backyard, suspended from a tree in the middle of a drum circle with a voodoo priestess, he would trust that was the best thing and support that. I would be deeply insulted to have him question my judgement.
Now I am not saying that I don't care about how my partner feels. If he were uncomfortable with my birth choices, I would gladly supply him with some materials to 'get comfortable' but I definitely would not allow for his insecurities and control issues to stand in the way of me and the birth I wish to have. Birth is the single most personal and life altering experience in a woman's life, and that should not be taken away from her by her partner.
So I want to know what YOU think? How much consideration, if any, should a man have in his partners birth choices?
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